Support for School Refusal in Oakdale, NY with South Shore Counseling
As parents, we want our children not only to have a great education, but to feel happy about going to school, learning, and building social connections. But here in South Shore, school refusal is surprisingly common. Children of all ages are simply refusing to go to school, and while sometimes we may force them to go anyway, it’s troubling that so many are so adamant about staying home.
At South Shore Counseling in Oakdale, NY, we offer professional therapy for children and adolescents struggling with school refusal. We understand how disruptive this issue can be – not just for the child, but for the entire family. Our goal is to identify the underlying causes of school avoidance and work with families to help the child return to school with greater confidence, emotional resilience, and support.
If you’re ready to get started, please give us a call at 631-602-0079 or fill out our online form to reach out to our team. Our office is located near Islip and Bohemia, and we an provide remote therapy throughout Long Island.
What Is School Refusal?
School refusal is a common yet complex issue that affects children and teens across a wide range of ages and developmental stages. It goes beyond simply not wanting to go to school. For many young people, school refusal is a distress-driven response tied to anxiety, emotional overwhelm, or social and academic pressures that they feel unable to manage.
School refusal is when a child or teen regularly resists going to school, experiences severe distress at the thought of attending, or frequently asks to stay home due to emotional or behavioral symptoms. Unlike truancy, which may be associated with defiance or lack of supervision, school refusal is usually driven by internal emotional struggles.
Your child may show:
- Repeated complaints of physical symptoms (headaches, stomachaches) with no medical cause
- Panic or anxiety in the morning before school
- Trouble sleeping or increased irritability on school nights
- Requests to stay home, even when not ill
- Emotional outbursts, crying, or refusal to leave the house
These symptoms often stem from anxiety, social stress, academic challenges, or other emotional factors. In some cases, the child may not be able to articulate exactly what’s wrong, but their behavior reflects significant internal discomfort.
Common Causes of School Refusal
Every child is different, and the reasons for school refusal vary. But they are increasingly common and worrying here in South Shore, Long Island. School refusal can be caused by many things, but is often connected to one or more of the following:
- Separation Anxiety – Difficulty separating from a caregiver, especially in younger children
- Social Anxiety – Fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected by peers
- Academic Stress – Worry about performance, testing, or falling behind
- Bullying or Peer Conflict – Fear of social interactions due to negative experiences at school
- Adjustment Issues – Difficulty transitioning to a new school, grade, or classroom environment
- Depression or Low Mood – General withdrawal or disinterest in school as part of broader mood challenges
- Family Stress – Changes at home (divorce, illness, relocation) that increase emotional vulnerability
At South Shore Counseling, we assess each child individually to understand what is contributing to their school refusal and develop a treatment plan that addresses both symptoms and root causes.
How Therapy Helps Children with School Refusal
Therapy provides a structured and supportive environment for children and teens to express their fears, identify emotional triggers, and develop coping strategies. At South Shore Counseling, we use age-appropriate, evidence-based approaches that help children feel understood and supported while learning how to manage their emotions more effectively.
Our therapeutic approach may include:
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) – Helps the child recognize and challenge anxious thoughts, and replace them with more realistic and helpful patterns
- Exposure and Gradual Reentry Strategies – Structured support to help the child slowly return to the school environment at a manageable pace
- Emotional Regulation Skills – Teaching techniques for managing stress, anxiety, and panic symptoms
- Family Support and Parent Coaching – Working with caregivers to create structure, reinforce boundaries, and respond consistently to avoidant behaviors
- Collaboration with Schools – With parent consent, we can coordinate with school counselors, teachers, and administrators to support a smoother reintegration
The goal of therapy is not just to get the child back to school, but to reduce the emotional distress that caused the avoidance in the first place – so that school becomes a manageable and, ideally, positive part of their daily routine.
Who We Help
We work with children and teens across a range of ages – from elementary school through high school – who are struggling with:
- School-related anxiety or phobia
- Panic attacks or emotional meltdowns tied to school
- Refusal to attend school for extended periods
- Ongoing absenteeism due to emotional distress
- Difficulty transitioning after long absences (illness, school change, etc.)
We also support parents, providing guidance and structure to help reduce family conflict and improve consistency around school attendance expectations.
Get Help for School Refusal with South Shore Counseling
If your child is struggling with school refusal, early intervention can make a meaningful difference. The longer a child avoids school, the more difficult it becomes to return. With the right therapeutic support, most children are able to regain emotional balance, improve their coping skills, and return to school with greater confidence.
At South Shore Counseling, we’re here to support both you and your child through this process. Our therapists are experienced in child and adolescent mental health and committed to helping families move forward. Call us at 631-602-0079 or fill out our online form to schedule a consultation. Let’s work together to help your child feel safe, supported, and ready to return to school.